Taken from this morning's paper:
<Bogans on a Plane
As vice-president of the Australian-Indonesia Business Council Ross Taylor does a fair bit of flying to Australia's nearest neighbour.
So our article on Monday about two women behaving badly on an AirAsia flight from Bali to Perth did not surprise him, in fact, it prompted him to share his own Bogans on a Plan story.
On a recent flight from Bali to Perth on a Jet Star plane, Taylor was seated behind a family: Mum, Dad, two boys aged between eight and ten and a little girl, about nine.
Soon after take-off, the eldest boy, Tom, started violently bashing his head against the aeroplane window. The conversation which followed, loud enough for the entire aircraft to hear, amused Taylor so much, he took notes.
'Tom, Fir f...k's sake, stop that', Mum chided.
'Aw, I want to see if my head can break the window', Tom said.
'Look, you little s...t, I said stop that NOW.'
'No! I want to break the window to see what will happen.'
'For f...k's sake Tom. Stop it you little s...t. If you don't stop you will be the first child in history sucked out of a plane over Australia.'
Younger brother George pipes up: 'That's not fair!' he screamed. 'Tom ALWAYS gets to be first at everything! It's just not fair!'
'George,' Mum yells. 'Shut your face. Just shut up!'
'Tom, stop banging your head or your old man will bash you!'
Mum leans across the aisle to Dad, 'For Christ sake. Can you tell this little s...t to behave?
'Geez Luv. I'm trying to finish my beer.'
'Ah stuff it,' Mum said. 'Just bloody forget it.'
'Luv,' Dad reasons, 'just get them a Coke each and tell ‘em to shut up.' (Noice)
Mum gets the Cokes and the children calm down ... until the plane experiences some turbulence resulting in George spilling the drink on his lap and screaming 'My penis is on fire!' for several minutes.
Taylor didn't know whether to be shocked, amused or just vaguely depressed.
'I speak Indonesian and as I got off I said to one of the crew: ‘How often do you get put on this flight?' And he said, ‘Oh, they rotate us often, thank goodness.' I said ‘It must be hard work?' and he said, ‘Um, it's really different.''>