Many hotels and businesses in Bali hire a security guard (Satpam) they are given various roles however their main role is to guard or protect the business premises and interests of the people who employ them.
My Satpam however must have not been listening when his job description was issued. He seems to think that his two major tasks are to hide and sleep throughout the night.
He even came to work recently and told me that he was happy to be at work because he was really tired and needed a sleep. Bless his little heart, isn't he wonderful.
Now that 'Snowy the wonder dog' has gone to the big kennel in the sky I thought that our Satpam would become a tad more dedicated. Alas this has not happened. He has reached great heights and can now hide in places that I never knew existed.
However you have allowed me to digress. That is not the point of this particular post. This post is about the Satpam at the Lumut restaurant in Sanur. The most dedicated Satpam in Sanur. (Henceforth known as TMDSIS.)
Last evening my little darling (Irma) and I bundled into the chariot and went out for a meal at the Coriander Restaurant. This is a wonderful little restaurant on Jalan Tamblingan; it is located just opposite the entrance to the Peneeda View Hotel.
I had just parked the chariot and had opened the door when TMDSIS materialized beside the door. He was immaculately presented in his wonderful uniform complete with SATPAM printed in large letters on his chest. He clutched one of those pretty little nightsticks that glow red in the dark.
It was a cute little scene, him, his neat little uniform and his glowing nightstick.
He then informed me that I had no right to park in front of his restaurant. Of course I smiled and happily mentioned that he did not actually own the road.
However he was not deterred by the fact that it was not his road and demanded that I move.
Now only about half a metre of my car was actually in front of his restaurant area and I just happened to mention this small fact.
However TMDSIS bravely puffed his chest out and waved his little red stick in my face.
His job is to guard that little piece of bitumen and no way was anyone going to park there. He demanded that I move the chariot back 500mm.
It was about this time time that my head took on the same hue as his nightstick.
Okay, I now realise that it is just not actually possible to put pretty little nightsticks in certain orifices however it did seem like a good idea at the time. I also realise that I should not have told him that his head resembled the back end of a goat but that also seemed like a good idea at the time.
Luckily the staff of The Coriander came out and moved my vehicle back those very important 500mm. This allowed TMDSIS to strut (now with a slight limp) along the front of The Lumut Restaurant repelling all possible customers.
You can possibly gather that the Lumut is one restaurant in Sanur that I will never again enter.