Too depressed to do a proper report so will just waffle on a bit.
Hope nobody gets too offended.
No 1. Sorry ladies, but if you are old enough to remember Bo Derek you are too old to have braided hair, and no mother and daughter braiding does not look cute.
No 2. If you leave your towel on a deckchair all day, other people are perfectly entitled to use it to dry their feet. New rule. People with german accent take note.
No 3. Speedos or g strings should not be worn by anybody anytime on the beach , they look gross, doesnt matter how brown you are.
No 4. Bikinis are not suitable street attire anywhere, including Bali.If you leave the beach, cover up.
No 5. You do NOT have to speak in pidgen english and shout really loudly to make yourself understood. Balinese are not actually deaf.
No 6. Sorry for this one but hair extensions still look like bits of string braided into your hair no matter how cleverly disguised.
Thats all I can think of at the moment, but I am too depressed to think. Might go and sniff a few sarongs.