You want to know the real Bali? The real Bali will eat you up and spit you out like a shell of beatlenut. The real Bali isn't about "where's the party man?" nor is it about surfing, wind-sailing, or even going to a cremation or two. It isn't about deciding, "yo, I'm going to live in Bali and even have my teeth filed." It isn't about learning Indonesian and some really good Balinese slang. Nor is it about catching a real Balinese (not Javalady) girlfriend or wife. And further, the real Bali has nothing to do with the ultra-villas this forum promotes.
The real Bali is life within the most modest and remote of villages...far from the tourists, wana-be-bali-girls, and wankers from down under. So much of this forum is occupied by those who only want to know where to get the best buy on CDs, where to get laid, where to eat and where to stay. For me, a good year in Bali is one where I never see a f---ing round eye for the whole year...excepting at the airport on a visa trip. Yeah, sure...you're right...I'm also a round eye. But I don't shave so I don't have to look at myself.
Do you know the way most expats leave Bali for the last time? Yeah, flat on their backs and in a wood box...home to their country. How many have been buried and then cremated in Bali? Zip my friends...zip. Reason?...Answer...they really don't want you to come back! God bless the Balinese...the ultimate masters of how to get from you "all that they could steal" (excuse me, borrow...permanently as Balinese never steal) and you didn't even mind a bit...and by shipping off your remains, there is little chance you will be back in some reincarnated form.
Sure...get into it totally. Spend years there teaching the kids English, doing a little doctoring, showing them your ways and learning theirs. Shit...build them a whole new temple while you are at it. Pay to have some roads paved, bring them clothes and fill their bellies with steaks if you want to...it will not make one damn bit of difference and will not make you look any other than just another asshole cloned somewhere between Margaret Mead and Martha Stewart.
Oh you say, but my intentions are so good and they are so kind, they will see that I am for real and only want to share and help them. Yep...you are right. They will size you up like a ripe durian...smells bad, but oh, tastes so damn good!
You want to come to Bali as a tourist for a good time and a little culture? Then yes, by all means...come to Bali. But...go home when your money is spent. Don't even think about hanging around and getting into the culture so you can maybe write a book or some totally useless article for an in-flight magazine. Just leave and be happy and convinced that you can write a "just back" report that will find hundreds or thousands of readers hanging on your every word.
Bali is the navel of the world. It is the gate to heaven and the gate to hell. Once here for good, there is no way out...excepting that wooden box.