When big Larry pulled up to the kerb on his scooter we weren't sure if he was riding it or trying to pass it as you could only see its handle bars and the two wheels, the rest of the bike had disappeared under his gut and up his bum like a fattogram's g-string.
Craigo, Larry and myself thought a day terrorizing Indonesian pedestrians would give a welcome break to drinkin', lazing by the pool and, well, drinkin'. We would take to the roads, and probably the footpaths, in pursuit of reliving our youth of rebellious freedom, and after all of us taking our medication, putting on sun screen , helping each other with helmet straps and wondering if our speed should exceed forty klicks , we were off. Well, that was the idea at least.
My scooter decided it wasn't about to go anywhere and refused to start. Now, this was the first sign the boys were serious about having a day on the road because it was well after ten in the morning and not one of us suggested packing it in and going back to a bar - although Craigo did start swiveling his head up and down the road and licking his lips, a sign we have come to know quite well with Craigo.
We replaced my scooter from our rather wary renter and were about to get away when an uncomfortable look came across Craigos face.
'Oh s...' he said. 'Better hang on a bit. Think I might need to bolt to the lou'
Craigo took off faster than a Kardashian after a wedding to the nearest restaurant across the road. On his return some time later me and Larry were a bit disappointed to hear Craigo throw in the towel.
'I aint goin anywhere sorry boys. I just passed more water than Niagra Falls and it feels like my intestines are in an olive press.'
Alright, so we had lost one member. But that still left two Bali's Angels to ride, and ride we would we agreed.
Launching scooters into the Jalan Legian throng of traffic we quickly found a small space appear around us as other road users seemed to sense getting too close to these two over weight, uncoordinated middle aged lunatics would see potential carnage. And sure enough I didn't read the traffic and I ran straight up the back end of another scooter. No damage to either bikes or riders but a fair bit to my pride and it was at this point I turned to big Larry and simply raised my eye brows and as good mates do he said ' Gee, I wonder how Craigo is goin. Reckon he's alright?'
'Yeah, I dunno' I replied.
'Think we should see how he's doin?'
'Yeah,' I said. 'Probly'
And so it was by eleven o'clock we had all returned to the bar and were imagining what would be our next adventure. Not surprisingly our next adventures all took place in the comfort of our hotel. And there were quite a lot of them as I recall - green, cold and empty.