Cripes several weeks have passed already since our return from Bali. So I thought that I had better jot a few notes down for BTF readers. My tan has washed off, both watches I bought, have broken and the dog is just starting to forgive me for deserting him, although I was positive that I had given him enough food and explicit instructions on how to use the can opener. Great arriving home to a jungle where the lawn used to be, and dead goldfish floating in the pond, (so much for a mate's advice that they don't need feeding)!
Well it seems only an instant in time ago that I had convinced the lovely Emms and Sue that Robbie and I needed 2 weeks in Bali ahead of them to rid the Baleka of snakes, scorpions and rampaging elephants. Boy did that time fly, although I am pleased to report that we did an admirable job, and when the girls arrived they could not find one nasty.
Ensuring that we had all the right documents and a hundy spending money each, we flew Pacific Blue from Auckland to Sydney with a 3.5 hour stop over to get absolutely lost in the airport trying to find the departure lounge to Bali. I tried asking instructions of the Mounties at the airport but beggared if I could find anyone there that spoke English.
Ha on the way at last, and one book later (just as well as I was almost out of crayons) we were arriving at Denpasar. Robbie handed me a carton of tobacco as he had one also. I commented that they were 250 grams each and that we had to declare anything over 200, he said not to worry about it, so stuffing mine in a body board holder of the guy beside us I went through unscathed, although the little guy with the large automatic rifle could not believe that I had nothing to declare (no alcohol)? , Nope, Okay you go.
Leaving Robbie I wandered off to stealthily retrieve the tobacco from my helper and went to the money robbers and exchanged my last $20.00 note. Robbie was taking a while so I came back in to see him pulling his pants back up and smelling of Vaseline. He was arguing with big gun about the fact that the tobacco comes in sealed 250 gram lots. After some debate and Robbie threatening to cry if he couldn't take the baccy in we were set free.
Ah the Baleka, we had requested a room at the opposite end of the bar, due to the noise, so being Bali we were marched to room 132 straight beside the bar. Anybody that knows me would say I am a gentle soul, so after telling the manager his pedigree in 1000 words or less, we agreed to stay 1 night in the room and if not shifted the next morning, he would be having two disgruntled guest at his house or if that was not possible we would camp in the lobby.
Exactly 24 hours from waking up in NZ, it was off to bed, with the sound of BOOM BOOM noise from the bar, I managed to drop off, with thoughts of my grandfathers conversations (before his arrest regarding the pet sheep) about sleeping in the trenches under constant shelling. Several hours later I was awoken to the sound of several night guards in the bar discussing their conquests amid squealing laughter. Opening the door I used the international language know by all and politely shouted 'ken shut-up or I will kill you slowly'. That seemed to work and I awoke at some ungodly hour next morning. We packed our bags, were shifted to 142 (deluxe) and were told there was only one bed in it and that we would have to top and tail in a double bed for the next three nights.
Now I know Robbies my brother but he still could be dodgy, so that night when we got into bed together, I kissed him on the lips and said good night. It worked as he spent all night awake with his bum to the wall watching me, ha ha.
Regards Ianz