Sorry for making everyone wait but Last night She who can kill with a look was rapidly burning my recently accumulated Browny points because she had to use the computer for work and in answer to Jack's post I was typing this with 1 finger for approx. 2 hours last night. Keep in mind that I am a Fencer. I always wanted to be a moron but I only got as far as Fencer. To Tuberose, thank you for you kind words, Balifan, I am sorry there are no B4 shots of my teeth as I would never open my mouth for a smile or a camera. Chris, I have been approached by several magazines and T.V. producers and I need to tell you that all subsequent requests for interviews and autographs should be forwarded to my agent.
Seriously, I would like to thank everybody for their responses as I was quite sure I would be shot down or shut down and wondered if this literart masterpiece would ever be finished.
As we left our hero last night he was waiting trepidatiously to re-ring his long suffering beloved to gain an insight as to whether he had been wasting his time and money in Bali. Well, I have to say that when I rang my precious back a minute or two later she was absolutely beside herself and the superlatives were rolling off her tongue so fast I could barely understand a word of it. I have since worked out that she ALSO wants to marry Dr. Rudy. She was so happy I couldn't remember her ever being so happy. I was so excited at the prospect of all those Browny points getting racked up and being used up in the arrivals area At Tullamarine Airport. Sadly, I would have to twiddle my thumbs for some hours as she (her name is Serena) had organised to have the morning off upon my return so that she could check out all of my purchases (wink, wink). Unfortunately our hero had informed her of his arrival 24 hours before it happened. She actually rang me on the Sunday morning and said "Hey dipstick, I have just checked your itinerary and you don't leave until Monday at Midnight!". I was shattered!. Another day in Paradise without my Heartbeat. I had carefully packed my belongings on Friday night I was so eager. I was then informed that she would pick me up and then deposit me back at home to painfully (very painfully) await her return in the early evening. Nevermind, It's all good. Don't ask for details Dennisc as you wont be getting 'em.
I have still got the picture that I sent to my love so I may be able to post it or re-cycle the original email thingy. Depends if I can find a computer person to do it.
Let me tell you about standing around on the streets of Kuta in the wee small hours. Upon arriving at my hotel (the Barong for all of you with short term memory loss) I did everything I could think of to fill in my day until bedtime but found that I couldn't sleep for love nor money so I headed out the front of the hotel and struck up one of many late night conversations that would take place at this historic site (Bill the fencer used to stand here before he became famous.) The guys were out the front all night long and it appeared to be a very boring job however they all seemed to have something else going, surprise,surprise. "Would you like some flags Mr. Bill, my wife makes them" or "Would you like transport Mr. Bill, I will call my cousin". We would talk about families and jobs, cultures, religions and customs until I saw their ears turn noticably red at which point I would retreat to my room, sit on the end of my bed and feel lousy with homesickness because I was in Bali and had no-one to cuddle. Speaking of which, I was offered a lot of solutions to this affliction, even on the first night out the front of this new tourist attraction I was offered about 500 solutions to this problem. Tiring of all this I decided on a plan. The next bloke who offered me a woman I asked him "Do you have a photo?" The look on his face was priceless. He would say "What?". And I would say "Show me a picture of woman" One bloke pulled out his wallet and showed me a picture of his wife. I said "Is that your wife", to which he happily nodded. I said "You want to sell me your wife?". He said "No, You said show me a picture of woman" and he offered a picture of his wife as if I had never seen a woman before. The horrified look on his face was even more priceless. Another bloke, after asking "You want woman" I asked him if it was his sister to which he indignantly answered "No!". So I asked him "Who's sister is it?". That seemed to stop him.
One early evening I was seated at the restaurant over the road having some nice soft spag. bolognaise when an Aussie bloke I saw was talking to the guards out the front with the same 4 young kids standing with them. I haerd the bloke say to the kids "Come on, let's go over the road and I will shout you kids an icecream. While the kids were receiving their icecreams from the assistant the Aussie bloke was talking to him and having a great time and when he asked the assistant "How much do I owe you?' he was told 135000Rp. to which the bloke nearly jumped across the counter to hammer him. The attendant said "Sir, look behind you" There were 13 kids standing there sucking away on ice creams. He should have paid more attention. To his very great credit he probably laughed louder than any of the people who had been watching this little magic moment unfold.
Changing the subject, in answer to Heatherbelle, I spent about 12 hours in the chair in total and I have to say there was only pain when I first got the injection (as usual) however it still didn't hurt as much as I would have expected it to or as much as I remembered it would. After the initial injection I would lay there like a rabbit caught in headlights waiting for the nerve pain that I promised myself would be dealt with like a real man. Lots of whimpering and pleading "Please kill me". Honestly it rarely happened as Dr. Rudy and his staff were constantly monitoring my demeanor. Or maybe it's because I have big muscles (That's another story)
and didn't want a massacre in their surgery. (I don't know how I made that gap).
S & S. I too had a hell of a time trying to find this place but I am so very glad I persisted as I met some lovely people there (Also Dennisc). Sorry Dennis, I couldn't resist. Suzie is an absolute delight and every time I turned up she would hand me a very cold can of orange juice (with the lumpy bits in it), and as soon as I finished that she knew I was looking for one of those green vodka ones. Suzie also gives great foot (massage) although I didn't have one myself many others did and thoroughly enjoyed it by all reports. She also sells lovely bangles and bracelets and she sold bucketloads. I didn't meet Sammy until my last visit as he had been back to his village helping to build a new temple. As I eventually found out, S&S is located only about 200 metres north of where the beach road does a right angle back towards Jl Legian. The S&S beach bar is located on the beach beneath a huge tree that has a family of very hilarious squirrels living in it. They will come right down to the lowest branch to take food and then take off after each other like turbo monkeys absolutely leaping from branch to limb to twig with stunning abandon. I was also pleased to meet Smudge and learn of some of the great work he is doing (with others) up on the north coast in some very remote villages and the miracles that are conjured from nothing on behalf of some of the neediest people on the island. I shouted him a Bintang followed by a soda water followed by a Bintang followed by a soda water etc. Despite his diabetes this hero is living far from help and serving the people he is surrounded by. Truly inspirational.
And then one night I met Dennis. We had a good old chat at S&S until the sun went down and then walked off to The Mandira Hotel where we enjoyed a welcome roast dinner just like me mum makes. Roast beef, roast chicken roast pork with roast pumpkin and potatos as well as peas and they even had mint sauce. I think they do it every Monday night. I had to eat and run as the mozzies were enjoying me as much as I was enjoying the roast. Dennis turned up at the Barong a few nights later as I think they must have kicked him out of the Puri Raja
Just so I can put the dental stuff to bed, I ended up with 10 root canals, 12 crowns, a 6 tooth bridge and a new bottom back plate with 6 teeth on it.(Which wouldn't quite fit after I had the bottom teeth crowned so Rudy had another one made no charge.
If anybody is still out there I will post soon about People I met and places we went.