In Reply to: Two-legged ATM Syndrome. posted by sirsinnik on Saturday, 14. January 2006 at 19:27 Bali Time:
On our last trip my eyes where really opened to how many of the Balinese boys (not Javanese) had older woman in their lives, while keeping a wife and child at home. I questioned them about this and was told this is how they get the the things in life that a salary cant buy, like mobile phones, televisions, extra money etc etc. One of they guys we thought we knew quite well, told us his whole story. I will give a brief version.
At breakfast one morning he didnt seem his normal joking self (he is the restaurant manager at our hotel), so I asked him what was up. he said he had to confess something to us. His girlfriend was arriving from Australia and he was worried what we might say to her etc etc etc. Well this gave us a bit of a shock, as we had known this guy for 4 years and his wife etc. We asked him to explain exactly what was going on. He told us that he had hooked up with this woman about 5 years ago (he has been married for 6 with a 4 year old child)and that she funds his life basically in return for his "company" while shes in Bali 3 times per year. He told us that he tells his wife that he stays with friends in Kuta or he is acting as a tour guide for overseas visitors while she is there etc etc. In return he tells is "girlfriend" he has a ceremony etc every now and again to escape back to the village.
He told us that he was embarrassed for us to see her due to her age and physical appearance but he had to do it for the money and what the money brings his family. We tried to explain that family is more important than money etc etc etc but through experience the more western Bali becomes the more they want so called lives like the tourists have. No amount of explaination that we arnt rich but need to save etc to go on holiday made any difference.
Anyway towards the end of our conversation the "girlfriend" turned up unexpectantly at the hotel, well Ive never seen a Balinese move so fast. he basically cut her off at the entrance, however she wanst having that and proceeded to plonk herself down at our table. Have you ever seen a balinese turn white well we have.........
There was no way we would embarass our friend but where curious as to what this woman in her early 50's was doing with a married balinese guy in his late 20's.
Well she basically confirmed the relationship etc and more. But the sad thing about it she was adament he was going to someday leave his wife and move to Australia with her, the reason why she thinks this is he keeps telling her he will, to ensure the money keeps coming in each month. I could go on and on with this story as it has alot more stories from both him and her but im sure you get the picture.
Anyway Im sure people all over the world have their reasons for doing things and everybody has to live with their own actions