In Reply to: It's Marcus, not Mark or Cliff posted by esuh on Sunday, 21. August 2005 at 21:00 Bali Time:
It was me all the time... Markie Mark McNugget, scourge of the wealthy tourist. I buy villas in Bali, charge ridiculous prices and wait for someone stupid enough to pay... and when they arrive I throw rats in the pool with their children.
First there's four rats swimming. Then there's one rat dead in the pool. Nevertheless, the children remain in the pool for hours, happily swimming while the parents shout and complain at me, leaving their children to play with the dead rat.
While you're on the phone to Mr Authority, please ask him when he is going to get rid of all the rats in Bali, as clearly this is an issue that falls under his jurisdiction. Tell him he has three weeks to comply, or we will be forced to employ unpleasant means. I won't say what all those means are, but you can assume he will receive his shopping in a plastic bag of a colour unfamiliar to him. Teams of Balinese women are poised to ask him if he wants his hair braided every three seconds for the rest of his life. And what about his nails? Does he want a massage? Does he? Does he? Does he? It will bring him good luck.
So, come on... get me kicked out of Bali. But don't stop there. Get rid of all foreign business owners. And all Indonesian owners who bought their properties with money borrowed from foreign countries and stolen from the Indonesian people.
Compared to some of these people, rats really are pretty cute. And rather tasty when fried on a stick and dipped in sambal.