This morning the Barong is delivered in secret without a hitch, and Operation Barong is re-focussed on getting 'the package' from Peneeda View to our new digs, Villa D'Suite in Seminyak. Reception at Peneeda View are briefed that a driver will come and collect the package, - so please hand it over to him when he asks for it, and please, please, please don't check with my husband to see if it's OK. Everyone nods. At the same time I call Villa D'Suite and explain that the package will be arriving ahead of us, kindly put it somewhere where no-one can see it, and please, please, please don't confirm that you've received it to anyone other than me, alone, when we arrive. 'Can! Can!'. All good.
Munch returns from a Coffee Run to Bali Deli with lattes for all and some cakes for breakky. 'They have this awesome-looking cake called a 'Rainbow Cake' - have a look at this!' he whips open the box to reveal a slice and Snubs is suitably impressed. I congratulate myself on my excellent choice of secret birthday cake and tuck into my tiramisu. 'Oh wow...' Munch comments 'it's looks good, but it tastes bloody awful!' Oh oh. That's not good. I reach over for a forkful, but he's right. If there's anything in the world that we both can't stand, it's almond paste, or marzipan, or anything that tastes vaguely similar - and it appears as though the layers of this gorgeous-looking cake are stuck together with just such a substance. Disaster! I have 8 inches of this horrible stuff on order for tomorrow for his day-time cake and he hates it - and so do I.
I have to help finish up the packing so I send C over to Bali Deli with the order slip and the receipt to see if she can change the order before tomorrow. Forty five minutes later she slinks back looking positively exhausted, explains the lengthy and painful process of getting such a changeover to occur, but happily she was successful in getting it done, and we now have a much smaller strawberry shortcake to pick-up in Seminyak tomorrow. Crisis averted. The mini vans arrive from the villa booking company right on time, and we slug through the traffic around the roundabout of hell to sunset road, and across to Seminyak.
The location of Villa D'Suite is fantastic - literally next door to The Oberoi hotel and at the entrance to the same small gang as the C151 Smart Villas on one side, and the Ahimsa villas on the other. The Villa however, is about as far from fantastic as I can imagine. It hasn't been maintained very well at all, the staff are surly (the Villa Manager was about as friendly as Hitler) the breakfast cooked in-house was simply awful, most of the doors don't close, the pool was out of whack and the water was so acidic that it had a slimey feel to it so swimming was off limits until THAT was fixed, oddly there were no top sheets on the beds, just a fitted sheet and then a doona and when we requested sheets we were told they didn't have any, and the shower water smelled like it had come straight from the sewer. Other than that - is was lovely ;). I did send an email to the booking agent to voice my displeasure - but apparently they could care less.
Anyhoo - why let a substandard villa get in the way of a perfectly good holiday! The villa was awful - let's get out and go for a walk shall we? Oh wait - there are no footpaths in Jl Laksmana. Well that's OK - we'll just tell Snubs and Mookie to shut their eyes while we trundle them head on into oncoming traffic, actually - better buy them some helmets. Munch pushes the pram and I look down at Mookie's eyes googling inside his head as he gets bumped over road rubble, giant ditches, hurled up and down tall breaks in the path and generally thrown around like he's bush bashing on a pig shooting weekend. It's around about now that I remember I despise Seminyak. For all its amazing villas and top end restaurants - it's a very un-user friendly place to navigate, almost everything is more expensive, the footpaths suck, and I'm hideously jealous of the child-free beautiful people lounging around their beautiful boutiques selling pants that won't fit onto so much as my left thigh.
Well anyway - I'm here now. Let's make the most of it.
We walk left out of the villa past The Oberoi and watch all of the frantic temple preparations for the full moon ceremony - there are make-shift stall holders lining the roads to cater for the hoards of visitors to the temple, and we're drawn in instantly by the smell of fresh satay cooking over coals. 35 sticks of pork stay later we're all full and the street vendor has probably made enough at 'tourist prices' to pack up for the day - good luck to him! Was the best satay I've ever, ever had. C and I leave the boys and smuggle the Dom up to The Legian to chill for tomorrow night, and sneak back via Ke De Ta to marvel at the cool kids and squeeze in a Jammy Dodger before going home to get dressed for dinner. When we get home we discover that O and Munchie have been buying DVDs off some bloke in the street with the promise of free Viagra for every 50 purchased. Kind of brings new life to the idea of staying up all night watching movies.
Dinner tonight is at Sate Bali a short walk through the Flea Market from the villa. This place doesn't look like much at all during the day , but at night they move the table out into the car park and light it with candles, and a guy sits in the nearby bale and plays the gamelan - the atmosphere is completely transformed. The food is fabulous and reasonably priced, the staff are lovely, and you can sit and be mesmerized by the 'chop, chop, chop, chop' coming from the tiny kitchen if you're sitting close enough. Highly recommended - give it a go.
We get the boys to bed early and sit around the pool (shame we can't sit IN it) and have a few well seasoned vodka and tonics and reminisce about Munchie's 30s...seeing tonight is the last night of them and death is now so, so much closer :)
Munchie and I head off to bed and O&C spring into action decorating the front patio and pool area with Happy Birthday signs and balloons for Munchie to wake up to in the morning. Before we went for a walk today I checked with Frau Hitler to see if the fainting had arrived - and thankfully she had dutifully hidden it in the staff quarters. We agreed that when we went out for dinner she would move it into O&C's room so that we could unroll it for the big reveal the next day alongside the Mona Bean.
And here it is - finally! Birthday Morning! The morning of The Event...
I wake up early and poke Munchie to make sure he didn't die of shock in his sleep and actually made it into his 40's. Having been assured that he's still here (I could tell by the grunt) I get up and get dressed, and go and wake the boys up so they can wish Daddy a Happy Birthday. Snubs is nearly 3 years old - he now 'gets' the concept of birthdays, so he is very much looking forward to cake, which is about the only thing about someone else's birthday that interests him. Mookie has already developed a fear of balloons thanks to an unfortunate incident at Snub's second birthday party, so he is not at all impressed by O&C's display, and whimpers for most of the morning.
By the time Munchie rises to face The Day, we are just settling down for a breakfast of overcooked eggs, cold toast, watermelon, tang, and some chilli sauce. We all chime out 'Happy Birthday!' and Snubs and Mookie run for the legs while I plant a big kiss on him, O shakes his hand and C gives him a big hug. Munch is very impressed with the decorations and congratulates O&C on their effort.
We spend the morning relaxing - O&C venture out to Bali Bakery in search of coffee, and as soon as Ririn arrives (hurrah!) I grab a taxi to Bali Deli in Seminyak to pick up the cake and buy a gourmet lunch of salamis, cheeses, jamon, olives etc... The cake looks gorgeous - well done C! It's a strawberry shortcake, and they're thoughtful enough to have included a birthday candle as well - thank you Bali Deli.
By the time I get home it's well and truly morning tea time, so we serve the cake, sing happy birthday and present Munchie with his birthday cards, but the moment is suspiciously absent of any present-giving. Munchie says nothing.
The pool has now been given 'medicine' - love it - and we can actually swim in it without our eyeballs melting so we have a dip in the pool and generally laze around and gorge ourselves on foreign treats until the early afternoon when it's time to think about getting ready for dinner and The Event.
I head off to get ready first - everyone knows that women take a decade to get ready for a special occasion, so by the time I've changed lipstick eight times and my outfit four times I'm finally looking fit enough to be presented at Potato Head. Munch wanders into the bathroom to get himself prettied up, and O&C and I spring into action! We leave the Mona Bean in her tube and reverently place it on the huge dining room table, while the Barong is very gently unfurled, but hidden behind the kitchen counter. I check on Munchie's beautification process and rally the troops around the dining table for the big reveal. I catch him at the bedroom door and ask him to close his eyes...
'Now Munch...I know that we've been looking at a lot of artwork over the past couple of weeks, and I know that you've had your heart set on one piece in particular, but it was maybe a little out of our budget... Well, I've asked around our friends and family and everyone has pledged a little bit of cash to help us buy it. Because this is such a special birthday, we wanted to make sure you have the best present we could give you to remember this very special trip, and this very special day. Ta Da!'
Munch spies the tube on the table and smiles...'Really? Wow!'
We all urge him to open it, and I smile wickedly while he very carefully opens the tube and lays the rolled up painting on the table, ignoring the fact that it's obviously much, much smaller than he remembers it. He pulls one edge open and unrolls the whole painting. C and I let out gasps of horror.
'OH. MY. GOD.' I say. 'What IS that?'
Munch looks confused.
'Oh no - they've swapped it!' exclaims C - very convincingly. 'They've bloody swapped it!'
'Swapped what???' - Munchie is still confused.
'We went back to the art shop and bought you the painting of the Barong - but they've swapped it for this!' I'm not so convincing, but I'm getting away with it.
'Oh my freaking God!' 'Are you serious?!' 'Call the police!' Munch is turning white and red alternately - and I know it's only really been a minute or so - but I feel so sorry for him, I can see the 'loss' on his face...he was so close to owning the Barong!!!
'OK sure - I'll go and ask the staff what the best thing to do is - should we call the Tourist Police or go down to the Police Station...?' I head towards the kitchen and C follows me - we reach behind the counter and carrying an end of the Barong each lift it up onto the table...'or I could just tell you now that we're kidding.'
Munchie has a massive smile on his face, and despite the fact he's just been punkd, he couldn't care less, he loves the fainting more now than he did when he first saw it in the gallery, and he's so, so happy that we bought - mind you, it's not until well after we get back home that he dares to ask how much we paid for it.
On this very, very high note - we kiss the boys goodnight and grab a cab down to Potato Head for our sunset cocktails - sailing past the queue of schleppers waiting to get in (sorry schleppers, but it's OUR night) and up the ramp to the Tapping Shoes balcony where we are immediately handed champagne cocktails and sit down to enjoy the colours of the gorgeous Seminyak sunset sky. Once the sun sets and a few cocktails later, Munch decides to try out a warm brandy cocktail spiced with cinnamon, clove and orange peel, and lit in a display of showmanship unrivalled at any bar I've been to in Bali. The waiter who constructed the drink (constructed is the only proper descriptor - it really is quite an event) was an absolute professional, and he explained each element of the drink as he added it, the flavours it would impart, and the reason for their inclusion. When the blue flames had died out and he handed the finished product to Munchie - he exclaimed 'it's just like drinking a kiss from you wife'. I like this man very much. Two hours of luxuriating at PotatoHead and a perfect sunset later, we head off to The Legian for dinner.
Walking up the steps into this gorgeous hotel makes you feel like a rockstar, or very wealthy, or both. It really is beautiful, but at night it becomes almost magical.
We enter the restaurant area and without prompting, the hostess says to Munch 'Happy Birthday Sir, I hope you've enjoyed your day so far?' OMG. How impressed am I? How impressed was Munch! He felt very, very special indeed.
We are escorted through the restaurant and to right of the swimming pool facing the beach, down a candlelit path to our very private bale - table set for four, champagne chilled and waiting, frangipani petals scattered on the ground giving little bursts of fragrance as we walk over them. Just beautiful. Have I mentioned if you're in Bali now you should do this?
Our personal waiter for the evening pours us all a glass of Dom Perignon Oneotheque 1995 - light toasty notes and an absolutely perfect match for our white truffle laced entrée. Munch being in the wine industry I've had a few Doms in my lifetime, but this is the first Oneotheque - it is hideously expensive, but what else do you drink for a wine-buff's 40th birthday? I shudder to think what to produce for the 50th... and to be fait I bought it duty free in KL, so really it was a bargain! I shop, I can justify almost anything.
I've already posted the complete menu for this dinner - look back few posts if you're curious, but I can tell you each course was perfectly executed, and absolutely delicious. The surf is crashing in the background, sea spray mist floats through the air and the beach and waves are beautifully lit - such a perfect setting. We eat our way through all of the courses - timed very nicely by the way, and our waiter comes down the stairs with the cake from Ixora - shaped like a jukung and filled with hundreds of tiny little coral coloured fondant prawns - it was gorgeous - and satisfied the 'boat load of prawns' requirement perfectly. Munch is suitably impressed and plants a big one on me. 'Love you honey...'
Nawwww.... I'm the best wife ever.