IT IS HARD TO FORGET THE MANY CAMEOS PRESENTED IN JUST HALF AN HOUR OF PEOPLE WATCHING, SIPPING WEDANG (KOPI) BALI.
A STRAIGHT-BACKED GENT, PEDALLING AN OLD RALEIGH BIKE AS OLD AS HIS 75 YEARS, STRAIGHT-BACKED, BUSHY MOUSTACHE, WRINKLED FACE PUFFING AROUND A KRETEK IN GREAT TRANQUILLITY, SHOWING OFF HIS GRAND-DAUGHTER TO ALL AND SUNDRY AS HE TAKES HIS MORNIG PEDAL AROUND THE PRECINCT, ONCE FULL OF GRAZING BANTENGS, NOW A BUSTLING TOURIST PRECINCT, GRAND-DAUGHTER 3Y.O. RIDING SIDE-SADDLE, THE EASIER TO BESTOW HER BRILLIANT SMILES UPON HER GAZING ADMIRERES. WHAT A LUCKY MAN.
TRUMPETS, BUGLES, SNAKES AND WHATEVER THE TWISTED IMAGINATION CAN DREDGE UP, AS LONG AS IT MAKES A SOUND AS LOUD AS POSSIBLE WHEN BLOWN INTO. ALL MADE OF CARDBOARD AND DECORATED IN THE COLOURS OF THE RAINBOW; THESE, ENOUGH FOR A BRASS BANDFUL ARE CARRIED ON THE SHOULDERS OF A SMILING SELLER, THE GOODS SUSPENDED FROM HIS SHOULDERS ON A POLE AS HE TRUNDLES ALONG TOOTING AND HOOTING BETWEEN SMILES AND HIS FULL DICTIONARY OF ENGLISH 'YOU BUY, GOOT PRAICE'. 'HEY MAWDEE, YOU'D NEVER GUESS WHAT THIS GUY STUCK IN MY EAR AT NEW YEAR'S AND TOOTED IT TOO'.! THE MIND POSITIVELY BOGGLES
A VESPA CARRYING TWO MIDDLE-AGED LADIES TO TEMPLE, DRESSED IN FULL, COLOURFUL, TEMPLE FINERY; THE ONE ON THE BACK SITTING SIDE-SADDLE, STRAIGHT-BACKED, PERFECTLY BALANCED WITH ABOUT 15K OF OFFERINGS ON HER HEAD ON A SILVER TRAY, NEVER A WOBBLE. WHAT DAILY COLOUR WE MISS OUT ON IN OUR DRAB WESTERN WORLD.
ANOTHER VESPA FOLLOWS WITH TWO 15 Y.O. GIRLS ABOARD IN EVEN MORE BRIGHTLY COLOURED PLUMAGE; LICENCES TO DRIVE ARE ISSUED AT 12 Y.O. HERE AND THE DRIVER WEAVES HER WAY IN AND OUT OF THE CHAOTIC TRAFFIC WITH DISDAINFUL EASE, HONKING AND SMILING AS THE CASE REQUIRES. THE GIRL ON THE BACK, BEARING THE OFFERINGS, STRAIGHT-BACKED ENOUGH TO MAKE OUR WESTERN MODELS CRINGE.
NO MODELLING SCHOOLS FOR THESE YOUNG LADIES, THEY'RE BORN WITH IT OR ACQUIRE IT BEARING BUCKETS OF WATER FROM THE WELL, UPON THEIR HEADS AT THEIR MOTHER'S SIDE.
PALE-FACED, EUROPEAN, YOUNG LADIES LOOKING FOR ACCOMMODATION, GUIDE-BOOKS AT THE READY, STERN OF FACE 'YOU WON'T FOOL ME', BEARING RUCK-SACKS HEAVIER THAN THEMSELVES. THE FIRST SMILE AT A CUTIE KID BRINGS IT ALL TUMBLING DOWN AS THE SURROUNDING SMILE MACHINES ON THE LOCALS SWING INTO GEAR. POOR THINGS, THE GUIDE-BOOK NEVER TOLD THEM THAT SMILES ARE RETURNED MULTIPLIED BY TEN IN BALI AND AFTER AN HOUR THEY SUFFER FROM SMILE-JAW AS THEY ACCEPT THE NEXT STUPID OFFER.
ON A BICYCLE FOLLOWS A 45 Y.O. EURO LADY, UPPER HALF DRESSED IN ALMOST NOTHING, SHOWING .5M METRES OF DECOLLETAGE TO THE BELLY-BUTTON; PINK BITS BARELY COVERED, CHOCOLATE BROWN FROM THE SUN WELL DEVELOPED IN THE WRINKLES DEPARTMENT. SHE PASSES ANOTHER RATHER PALE YOUNG LADY, WALKING IN TIGHT JEANS, BUT WITH A LIGHT GAUZY TOP, CONCEALENG NOTHING. SENIOR LADIES FROWN WHILST SOME OF THE LADS HAVE THEIR FIRST TINGLE OF THE DAY, RUNNING INTO WALLS OR TRUCKS, STARING AT THIS VISION OF ROSEBUD DELIGHT, OVER THEIR SHOULDERS; THEIR DREAMS TONIGHT WILL DWELL ON THIS PROOF THAT HEAVEN IS REAL. THESE LADIES DO NOT CHOOSE TO REMEMBER THAT THEY ARE 1.5K FROM THE BEACH IN LEGIAN AND NOT ON THE COTE D'AZURE IN FRANCE, WHERE NAKEDNESS IS THE NORM
LADIES IN PAIRS, ON VESPAS, WEARING MATCHING UNIFORM , SEVERELY CUT IN THE MANNER OF SCHOOL-MARMS, THE ONE SIDE-SADDLE ON THE BACK BEARING LEDGERS. THIS IS A CASE OF THE BANK COMING TO YOU, INSTEAD OF VICE VERSA. SMALL AMOUNTS ARE BORROWED AT RATES OF INTEREST, HIGH ENOUGH TO MAKE A SWISS BANKER FAINT. THEY CALL EACH DAY TO SEE WHAT THE BORROWER CAN AFFORD AND ALL TRANSACTIONS COMPLETED WITH A SMILE. DIFFERENT STROKES!.
SENIOR GRANNY WALKING TO TEMPLE, HAIR COIFFED BACK FAULTLESSLY, WEARING FABRICS WORTH A RAJAH'S RANSOME IN GREEN AND GOLD (MAYBE THE IRISH WERE HERE FIRST!). LOOKING STRAIGHT AHEAD, TRAFFIC PARTS FOR HER; SHE WOULDN'T BE OUT OF PLACE IN ANY PALACE. ON HER HEAD A HEAVY BASIN FILLED TO OVER-FLOWING WITH COLOURFUL FRUITS FOR THE GODS OF BALI.
YOUNG SCALLYWAGS DART IN AND OUT OF TRAFFIC, MANAGING TO MISS BUMPERS BY CENTIMETRES, GIVING DRIVERS HEART-ATTACKS AS THEY SHOW OFF THEIR JUVENILE COURAGE TO ONE ANOTHER. DRIVERS SOMETIMES SMILE REMINISCENTLY, REMEMBERING THEIR OWN ‘WAKTU BUAYA' - CROCOCODILE DAYS, WHILST OTHERS WHO MAY HAVE RECENTLY WITNESSED ONE OF THESE LADS MEET A BAD END, TAKE A DIMMER VIEW.
LITTLE, ANGELIC GIRLS, HAND IN HAND, WALK CONTENTEDLY SUCKING AT ICY-POLES OR THE LIKE, AS THEY TAKE IN THE WEIRD AND WONDERFUL SIGHTS OF EARLY MORNING SEMINYAK. LIFE IS LAID OUT BEFORE THEM IN A COLOURFUL PANORAMA KNOWN AS 'BALI JUST NOW'.
THEIR WORLD CONSISTS OF YOUNGER AND OLDER SIBLINGS, FAMILY ON VARIOUS LEVELS AND NOT A CARE IN THE WORLD EXCEPT TO HOLD ONTO THEIR BEST FRIEND'S HAND. MAY THEIR MOST COLOURFUL DREAMS COME TRUE, IN BALI OF THE FUTURE.
A FLITTER OF YOUNG JAPANESE LADIES, EYES AGOG, CAMERAS AT THE READY FOR THE NEXT INCREDIBLE SIGHT. ANY LOCAL OR TOURIST WHO OFFERS TO USE THE CAMERA FOR A GROUP PHOTO IS GREETED WITH A BEVVY OF GRACIOUS SMILES AND BOWS. THE CAMERA OPERATOR IS INVITED INTO THE GROUP, A LADY TAKES HIS PLACE AND THEN ANOTHER ONE TAKES HER'S, TO MAKE SURE THAT THE MOMENT IS FULLY ENCAPSULATED FOR THEIR ENVIOUS FRIENDS BACK HOME. SUCH FRIENDLY PEOPLE THIS NEW GENERATION OF JAPANESE, SMILING, DRESSED IN WESTERN GEAR AND ANXIOUS TO TRY THEIR FEW WORDS OF SCHOOL-GIRL ENGLSH.
WHAT THE HIGH-SPEED TOURIST SOMETIMES FORGETS, IS TO SIT STILL AND APPRECIATE THE COLOUR AND MINI-DRAMAS, WHICH MAKE UP THE DAILY LIFE OF THIS WONDERFUL PLACE.